Whether you are a believer of love & relationships, or think it’s a waste of time.
Whether you are currently single or focused on a committed relationship.
Whether you celebrate this holiday by planning special things for your partner or you are turned off by the commercialization of this day.
There’s one thing that holds true regardless of where we are is that genuine love and romance has the ability to touch our hearts at its very core. When we reminisce upon our own love story or watch others express their affection for each other, love truly warms up the heart.
On this. Valentine’s Day, I plan to spend time reflecting on how I can bring forward more of that genuine and pure energy into my partner’s space. It’s something that I have been thinking a lot about lately. Being attractive to your partner or attracting the right energies from your partner isn’t exclusive of the dating process only. Rather it is a continuous cycle in a relationship, wherein you offer and attract the right energies to help the union blossom.
I always believed that it is fairly easy and effortless for me to love my husband and everyone else around me. If I could, I would express love and appreciation to every single being, all day every day. While, that love is selfless and pure, it doesn’t carry much weight as it comes from an unconscious place. When I zone into my energies, I find that my love is conditional in many ways.
First and foremost, I want people I love to like me and appreciate me. When I feel misunderstood or invalidated, it becomes harder for me to love them. The worst is when I am not treated with respect and love. It brings down my own vibration and prompts me to maintain a safe distance. My motivation to express love towards them goes away as I question whether my love will be accepted or reciprocated.
When I focus specially on my husband’s soul essence, I realize that as I put forth the energy of love into his space, it alters his unique essence. My love is capable of providing him strength and courage and makes his energies appear shiner. However, it’s a very temporary shininess, as it is sparked from an external source. In reality, he doesn’t need any of that. What he truly needs is full acceptance of who he is. It was a big revelation for me that my love has expectations attached with it. I subconsciously want him to be like me and act like me. I dug deeper and found that when he does act to please me, it provides me his validation that I am worthy and on the right path. On the surface that sounds beautiful, but whoa! what a messed up situation it is if I am reliant on an external source to provide me validation in life? This way of operating needs to be corrected right away.
Okay lets be real, if my basic expression of love isn’t working, what exactly do I need to do? It didn’t take me too long to find an answer to that question. This situation called for a simple, yet powerful change. It is a twofold process:
Zero Expectations –
First, I need to raise my consciousness further around my expression of love. Whenever I do express love to my husband, it has to be a selfless offering with zero expectations attached to it. The more I look for an equal or greater return on the love I offer, the more I’m going to be disappointed, as his reciprocation will never measure up to my internal standards. It also takes his freedom away since he is expected to be someone who he is not. Isn’t the whole point of love is to have space to be who ever we are and share our experiences together? I should be willing to meet him exactly where he stands in any moment.
The validation I seek comes internally –
I’ll be able to offer love to my partner and people around me if internally I feel drenched with my own self love. The most important piece of self-love is acceptance of who I am, regardless of the situation I am in. I am whole, complete and divine just as the way of being. All the validation I ever need is always available from within. Once I stop looking for validation outside of me, the dynamics of my relationships have no other option but to improve favorably.
As you celebrate Valentine’s Day today, I highly encourage you to be conscious of the intention by which you pursue your relationships. When your intention is in alignment with who you truly are, all the flowers, cards and romantic dates will be more meaningful than we could have ever imagined.
Image source: https://2flames.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/heart_of_love_by_zmastah94-d6i3aww.png