A healer is only good to the extent they can heal their own wounds. Until she reconciles and shed light upon her wounds, she cannot recognize the truth and assist others in their healing.
For me, an internal process kicks in before I lead a big event that I’ve created. This process of deep cleansing is critical to support the up-leveling and expansion in my energies so that I am better able to hold space for others. This past weekend, I held a Healing Relationships workshop, and my process kicked in about a week before this big event. It started with me asking my guides for deeper level of consciousness and clear seeing to support my space holding skills.
Over several days, the more I healed blocks in my clairvoyance, the more I felt the emotions of sadness and sorrow. Physically, I felt excruciating pain in my lower abdomen, hips, pelvis and thighs that was related to this grief that my body was processing. It accompanied with the thought patterns of not feeling enough and playing small. My intuition showed that how deeply this thought pattern is still ingrained in me and exactly how it plays out in my life. Even though I have always known this and done inner work around it, but this time it felt huge. I was probably hitting another layer of heavy energy. It took countless hours of meditation, energy work, a womb massage and Breathwork to finally release these emotions.
Man, after the release took place, I felt way lighter. The day before the event, I was brought to this profound place of love for myself. This is the place where we love ourselves so deeply that what anyone says or does doesn’t shake our internal connection. This is the place where true serenity, peace and joy reside. I was feeling the purest kind of love that the creator of this entire existence has for us. My heart overflowed with compassion for myself and oneness with others. All of this was expressed with vulnerability through overflowing tears. Sometimes, words are not enough to express all that we feel.
The night before, I had a hard time falling asleep so I meditated. On the astral plane, I connected with my guides and asked a few questions. My guide Paul stepped forward. He has been my father in a past life and still guides me in the spirit form.
Me: I am finally vibrating in this energy of love, but have difficulty in mapping out the exact contents of the event. Please tell me what I should talk about during the event.
Paul: He laughed and said that you don’t need to worry about any specific words/activities. I want you to simply carry the purest vibes of love for yourself and others. What participants will learn from this event is how you embody love.
Me: I am confused, please tell me more.
Paul: Just like when a baby is born in this world, she looks up to her mother to teach her to love. The exact same way, your participants are like babies and they are going to learn to be open to love by your example. Just hold them with love. Your vibration is what they are going to take along with them.
Me: Aaah ha – clearly enjoying my “aha” moment that brought my OCD to prepare a lot of relief.
Ok thank you Paul. Fully honoring your guidance, I will get peaceful rest tonight.
I went to bed all excited and woke up in the morning with the same excitement. As soon as I woke up, meditated for over an hour and rushed to the center for a photo shoot that morning. Still feeling the physical pain, but my vibe was on point. Some unusual circumstances came up, such as our babysitter felt sick and cancelled on us. I checked in with my intuition. The guidance was to ask her to still come over as she’d find more healing at my house than staying in her own home, which is surrounded by the energy of overwhelm. My mind said, inviting a sick baby sitter to be around 4 kids (2 hers and 2 mine)...no way, that’s so crazy! Intuition said to simply trust. Intuitively all four kids gave me a thumbs up and said that they will be alright being with the sitter. When she came, I gave her a healing and she felt a 360 degree change in how she felt within two minutes. Her day completely turned around and the spirit said to trust your healing power. Don’t be shy about expressing to people what you can do for them. Choosing to trust the intuition in every moment, fortunately everything worked out smoothly.